I've ordered instacart three times now since my very first instacart post, and I've procrastinated sitting down and actually blogging about it for a looooong while.
So instead, you get a highlight of the three most hilarious instacart mini-stories.
🍅 a mishap for a tomato hater
I hate tomatoes,
but as a scientist-in-training,
I am also MADE of curiousity,
so every 2 months or so
I will buy and eat tomatoes in a new form
just to see if a New Way Of Preparation
will allow me to enjoy tomatoes.
So far, I enjoy:
pasta sauce
tomato and egg
curries made with majority diced tomato base
I do not enjoy in the slightest:
raw tomatoes, eaten whole
this includes grape tomatoes
So I ordered two (2) cans of diced tomatoes
from a the Wholesale Club
(which is like Loblaws owned Costco).
And boy
please,
learn from my mistakes here,,,
please CHECK SIZING IF YOU ARE
TO BUY
FROM A WHOLESALE GROCERY
I have two (2) x 3L of diced tomatoes
Which totals six (6) Litres
SIX GODDAMN LITRES of tomatoes
I do not want to see a goddamn tomato in my life again this is Cursed
🥛 bagged milk
I'm lactose intolerant.
Which means I consume about
1L of milk per month
kind of as a rebellion against my genes.
In Ontario, 1L of milk comes in cartons.
I ordered 1L of milk.
Because I went from drinking milk daily in my childhood and early 20s
to one day at the ripe old age of 23 years,
suddenly lactose intolerant,
My budget went from $6 for milk in bulk
to $6 for 1L of fancy organic delicious tasting milk.
I reasoned,
if I am to suffer the consequences
I might as well go for the best,
most delicious milk experience.
In Ontario, 3L of milk is packaged in bags of 1L each.
As someone who only drinks 1L of milk
which comes in cartons,
I do not own a contraption (a milk jug) for holding bagged milk.
I did not buy a milk jug when I moved to live alone because
as the Chinese saying goes
it would be like a bald man a comb.
It would be a tragic reminder of
a life that was.
So when my personal shopper
couldn't find my $6 fancy milk at the store
and swapped it for 3L of cheap milk,
I WAS NOT PREPARED.
LIKE, I'M NOT MAD ABOUT HAVING 3L
OF MILK
because now I am always in the comfort of my home
should, uh, side effects emerge,,,
BUT HOW
AM
I
SUPPOSED
TO
STORE
SQUIRMY
SQUISHY
BAGS
OF
MILK
ONCE
OPENED
?!?!?!?!?!?!?1
This is where my frugal life skills come in.
I firmly believe that
being cheap is the source of all my creativity.
I hoard glass jars because I use them
to store meal prep ingredients,
grow green onions/ other scraps, etc.
So I was able to just
pour each 1L bag of milk into
2 regular sized ragu jars and
1 tostito salsa dip jar
so I'm really hoping is that
the milk won't come out tasting like ragu and/or salsa.
⏳ only time will tell.
stay tuned.
🔃 the ultimate substitution
so I ordered one (1) box of 24 instant noodles
Now look,
before you judge me for hoarding
or stockpiling
please consider that
before the pandemic began
I already lived like this.
Which,
actually, I realize now, is an even worse thing to admit 😅
BUT, the story is,
I selected one (1) box of 24 instant noodles,
and the guy couldn't find the exact flavour that I had selected
and HERE IS THE BEST LOGIC 👇
he bought me one (1) single bowl noodle.
one.
just one.
not even a package noodle, but a small bowl noodle.
just one
(1)
.
.
.
.
.
So I ate that one (1) bowl noodle one day
and after I finished it
I wasn't even full,
I saved the soup
and dumped some leftover rice in it
and gobbled up that
sweet savoury spicy msg
and accepted that one day
I will regret my unhealthy life choices
but that specific day,
was not the day.
I'm making it a mission to blog more
because this is really fun!
I hope I can come back to these memories years later
and laugh over the dumb moments (like this dream about my ikea Tupperware),
reflect on the gains and growth.
If you want to hop on this weird life journey with me,
don't forget to subscribe below! 👇